Quick Fire

Sitting in the parking lot of the mall I grew up in and getting ready to start my shift makes me wonder why I ever went to college at all. I have traveled the world just to end up back home at square one. I once heard that no matter how far you run from home, you will always end up back there and I must say it only sucks because it seems to be very true. I am starting over again and I am haunted by the conversation I once had with my father figure. I would have never been able to guess it but one year before he passed away on a Christmas eve, no different from any others, we sat alone and he spoke with fear behind his eyes that life was forcing him to start all over again. He was in his early 60's and the most talented man I have ever known yet he had to start over. A year later he was battling cancer and loosing the battle with the biggest and proudest smile a man could ever have as life would never bring him down because his spirit was so high. I wonder daily if he was telling me a year before he knew that he was dying.

I have to start somewhere and most of these post will be about exploring my life on a daily basis because it is my journey through this world. Maybe someday someone will read these looking backwards and connect the dots. For me, this life has been a crazy journey and I can tell my time is limited here just like everyone else. I am 33 years old and feel the tide of the world changing inside me. I don't feel the way I used to, happy moments come rarely, and the clouds seem to be everywhere even when the sky is blue for everyone else. I am looking to express these thoughts so that others can understand that I won't always be like I am right now in this moment. I am working to learn about life and explore the journey with writing stories so that if I ever father a kid and die early then he can read my words. I wish I had that opportunity.